To truly discover the essence of an individual, to wipe away any phoniness, to feel what they are feeling, or to truly hear the message they want to convey, I highly recommend a real, live conversation.

Today was a day that our booth was across the aisle from a company that specialized in taking a look at a golfer’s swing, analyzing the swing, giving the golfer a few quick tips, and sending them on their way.   The “teachers” were young guys getting started in their profession and I’m sure they were doing their best…but as the day progressed, I began to notice that the golfer appeared to be just another customer for these guys who would offer some band aid cues to guys who needed major surgery.  What was interesting was that the golfers were very satisfied with the quick fix that was provided and went on their way feeling like they were ready to play…at least until they got some other advice from the next booth.

I was working with two retired golf professionals who had devoted their professional lives, energy, and passion into something they loved – teaching people to become better golfers.  When I asked them what they thought about my theory on what was happening across the aisle, they said it made them cringe.  Teaching and ultimately learning and performing is not about quick fixes…it’s about an immersion into something a person loves to do and having the courage to stumble, fall, and get back up…and then try it again to the point that you not only have become a master at the performance but are capable of seeing, feeling, and empathizing with a brand new learner because you have “been there and done that” from every possible perspective of your particular form of art.

The problem isn’t just that too many people are providing the quick fix for major problems but that people are satisfied with the short term satisfaction that the quick fix provides.  The Journey is more difficult and requires total investment – physically, mentally, and emotionally…but it opens the door to some of life’s great relationships.  I’ll take that over a quick fix any day.

It is growing more difficult by the Christmas or with every new i-something launch for people to truly be engaged.  A simple conversation is typically interrupted by rings, vibrates, or a random beep that signals a text message, instant message, or another upcoming appointment.  I’m not negative (does that count as a double negative?) on technology or with the different ways we have to stay connected with each other…I’m also not above checking the latest email as Sarah or the kids are attempting to get my attention.  I love staying connected and establishing new relationships through the technology we have available but it’s interesting to me that in an age when connection is literally at our fingertips, we are not truly connecting.

We have an “engagement problem” in our house and probably in many homes, businesses, and communities.  I commit to engaging better than I have before, to truly connecting and to teaching those around me what a difference it can make to truly engage in the process of life and the people in it.

While I don’t travel as much now as I used to, I always enjoyed engaging in conversation with those around me.  This would be the one opportunity available to share a story with someone I would most likely never meet again.  Take a minute today to engage in a story with someone.  Don’t have a story?  Then get busy living.

Coaching is the same way for me.  It is effortless for me to coach, to run a practice, to coach a match, to strategize, to train, etc.  Not saying that I always do things perfectly or that I can’t improve my ability to coach, but it is truly effortless work.

I am convinced that each of us has something inside of us that God created us to do (our assignment)…and I think in order to do what he created us for, we are to be really good at who he created us to be.  That is the first step.  Identify who you are by recognizing what makes you come alive.  What do you do that you absolutely love to do, feels effortless, wakes you up in the morning, and keeps you awake at night?  That is who you are and is the beginning of discovering the assignment you have been given.

I went out for a run this morning, and in order to get out of my neighborhood, I spend 6 minutes running up hills.  No matter how good or how bad I feel, it always takes me 6 minutes to get to a flat area.  My mindset when I begin the run is “I just want to get over the hill.  Then I can coast.”  If you know anything about south central Pennsylvania, you will know that I had more hills to run up – and down – and up again.  I had more hills to get over.

I think we often have the mentality that once we get to the top of the hill or over the hill, we can just put it on cruise control and coast.  While there is certainly nothing wrong (in fact, I highly recommend it) with taking pause at the top, enjoying the scenery, getting refreshed, I do believe that the very best people at whatever they do are constantly finding and even creating new hills to get over.

Me: “What are you going to do today?”

Sam and Andrew: “I don’t know.”

Me: Re-phrasing the question, “What if you could do anything today?”

Sam and Andrew: “I don’t know.”

Me: Frustratingly re-phrasing the question again, “I’m going to let you do anything you want to do today, what do you want to do?”

Sam: “Go to college.”

Me: “Perfect!”

Even though Sam is going to be 7 in a couple days and I’m not sure he is quite ready for college, I got him thinking.  While there are times that we truly don’t know the answer to a question or problem, the answer of “I don’t know” is too commonly given and to make matters worse, it is commonly accepted.

I shared with the 10 players who showed up last night of a recent story out of Happy Valley.  Rob Bolden, who was the starting quarterback as a true freshman at Penn State for the first half of the season until an injury sidelined him for a game, announced that he was going to transfer.  Bolden, while sitting out with an injury, had his job taken away from him by Matt McGloin, a sophomore.  While I have zero first hand knowledge of the situation, on the surface it appears as if Bolden hit an obstacle.  While everybody is entitled to make decisions that they feel are best, I am disappointed that it appears he is not going to come back and compete for the job – to create an opportunity out of an obstacle.

One of the players on our 18′s team in Chambersburg this year knows all about obstacles.  Brooke Sparks has torn her ACL (one in each knee) in each of the past 2 seasons.  If anyone has the right to feel sorry for her circumstances, it is Brooke…but instead of feeling sorry, she has attacked her rehab and is ready compete this season.  She’s a winner and winners make things happen regardless of the circumstances.  Winners look at obstacles as opportunities.

I’m hoping that Mr. Bolden will reconsider…because some of our most valuable lessons come when we hit an obstacle, I mean an opportunity.

If you are interested in attending Revolution Refining, we meet every Monday night from 6-8 at the Revolution Warehouse.

I shared a story with the 15′s and 16′s who were trying out last night in Chambersburg…my dad was a high school boys volleyball coach in western PA for over 30 years. In his first year on the job, he cut 2 players. It was so difficult for him to do, he chose to never cut a player again. There were years when there were over 50 kids on the volleyball team at Derry High School! They did not all have a starring role…but they were important to my dad and I am confident in saying that they probably never forgot the opportunity they had to be part of a team, part of something bigger than themselves.

My dad rubbing shoulders with Phil Jackson

As I was sharing with the group last night, we are looking to create opportunities for all young people who walk into our gym. So, for those who make a team, you will have the opportunity to practice, play, and compete. For those who don’t make a team, while there will undoubtedly be disappointment, I offer you the opportunity to still be involved in our club by serving as “Coaching Interns” with our House Leagues that will be forming after the new year. This will give you the chance to continue to learn about the game, stay involved, and perhaps discover a love for teaching and coaching young(er) people. I would be honored to have you as part of our Revolution Family.

As always, you can contact me at mike@revolutionvb.com.